Are there times in your life where you think, ‘What is my purpose here?’, be it in your job, your home life or life in general. It’s one of those questions that we think for a minute or two, our eyes glaze over and then we move on to the stuff we know we can actually answer.
That was the case for me for so many years. And to be honest I thought I had found my life’s purpose working with dogs and their owners and helping them all get along better.
I loved it, L O V E D it, but I always kept coming back to the feeling that I wasn’t getting something. That I was missing something.
Do you ever get the feeling that you aren’t quite in the loop or in with the cool crowd and you feel like they know something you don’t. Or even worse that when they are all laughing and looking like they are having fun, it’s at your expense?
Well that’s how I was feeling only a few short months ago and I was torturing myself with this feeling. What? What is it? Tell me please! (God, the Universe, just someone!!)
Then I read a phrase that changed my life – ‘What You Resist Persists’
Then after that I heard it and read it in numerous places, on videos and webinars and on websites and other books and then I finally got it. I was getting the same answer because I was asking the wrong darn question, day in and day out!
I was quite hard on myself back then and called myself a stoopid biatch amongst other misnomers.
Have you ever had a realisation some days where you just think ‘holy shit I was doing this very same thing last week and probably last month and quite possibly last year, WTF?’
Did you do anything about it?
Well I did, because at this point I had tipped into the four O category and enough was enough of this shit. Time for some changes because I could see a peek into my future and it looked EXACTLY like it did right now and for the past 5 years – going no-where.
So I’m sure dear reader, you are thinking what did you do Bernie?
Well the first thing I did was stop asking what was my purpose and actually started looking to find it.
That might sound weird but we are built a bit like metal detectors and when we get close to something that lights us up, makes us get excited and we find ourselves talking passionately about it, that’s when the beeps get louder and closer and closer together until it’s the music of jackpot time.
So I joined classes, took courses, got a coach and started reading books and stopped watching the idiot box in the corner. (that’s not a misnomer)
I needed help with this one and I knew if I could get feedback from other people then it would be more obvious when the beeps started getting louder and closer together. Sometimes we can’t see the wood for the trees or the Life’s Purpose because we are trying too hard!
One of the hardest things I have had to learn about myself was the vice like grip I had on my life. I used to always be told when I was younger how easy-going I was. ‘You’re so easy going Bernie’ my friends and family used to say ‘Any more laid back and you’d be horizontal.’
How the hell did I get here then?
I went from easy going and laid back to being controlling but with an air of I Don’t Care about me that possibly from a distance looked like laid back. But I wasn’t. I was stressed out, frustrated, demanding and a control freak. Yes, I was.
One of the first things I had to do, just so I could see the trees (and not the whole wood) was to start letting go of that grip and properly look at why I had these new mannerisms that were shocking to me.
Why had I not seen them for what they were? When had I become this person? It seemed like it had happened overnight to me but when I actually had to look back into my past, for the last say, ten years, the little post-it notes on my timeline started showing me the experiences that had started to carve me out, up to my new eloquent 2015 self. Not!
Stop the bus! I want to get off!!
OK, it wasn’t pretty and it wasn’t what I wanted to see. It wasn’t even who I thought I was, I looked different inside my head, to myself. You know the first time you hear yourself talk on video and your first reaction is ‘I don’t really sound like that do I?’ Well I didn’t even feel like this same person I was looking at, at that point. It was some scary shit right there, I couldn’t pretend any more.
Once I started working on who I really was and wanted to be (yes I felt like I was 12 again) then I could finally start looking at what I really wanted to do with my life. And you know what, what’s wrong with feeling like you are 12 again? What’s wrong with feeling like the world is your oyster and you can do anything you want in life?
Who said you can’t just quite your job or go live in a different country or do what ever the hell you Really want to do with your life? It doesn’t matter if you are 12 or 112!
If you are not doing something you love, life is going to be a long, hard road to walk with only bright spots intermittently. Who wants to live like that when you can live in your passion and be your best self?
Once you reconnect with yourself, ask yourself, what makes me happy, what makes me passionate, what would I do, even if no-one paid me! That is your purpose. We are all different, we all have a different purpose, And believe me when I say the Universe will pay you with more than just money.
Some of us may start with one purpose which leads us onto a bigger one a bit further down the line.
Your purpose may be to be a great mum or dad. Your purpose may be do save people’s lives, make people laugh, be on the big screen or help the poor. Your purpose may be to inspire others, make music that lifts people’s spirits, to be creative and paint or write stories. Your purpose may be to build stuff, to keep the peace, to explore or find the cure for cancer.
Who knows? Only you do and no one else.
I’ve found mine 🙂
Sending you much love & light on finding your true purpose